(via orgasmic-humor)
10520
(via heartwolf)
(Source: beesmygod, via ruinedchildhood)
(Source: everyonelovesbuster, via pizza)
badbitchcontestyouinfirstplace:
i was looking for apartments earlier today and i think i found the perfect one
(via bewbin)
| me: | time for bed |
|---|---|
| stomach: | LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE |
| brain: | HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO |
| muscles: | I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP |
| skin: | LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU |
| ears: | THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING |
| eyes: | WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE |
| mouth: | IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE |
| body: | HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS |
| me: | ok |
(Source: theproperstranger, via mypatronusisyou)
this guy at my school wears really short shorts all the time and i asked him why he doesn’t wear normal cut shorts and he said “if the sky is out, then my thighs are out” god bless
(via nahthatsnotveryraven)
